Pilot: Wisdom from a Bachelor's Degree in Psychology
I may be becoming Dr. Baker, but I have been and always will be Brianna.
I have several journals all outlining different dreams, goals, and desires dating back to middle school. It's fun to watch my own development through my writing. When I was in 6th grade I wanted to be a veterinarian, then an astronaut in 7th, and eventually a psychologist by the time high school came around. Despite my constantly evolving career choice, the fundamental narrative remained consistent. Each entry starting with "When I grow up", "When I graduate high school", and finally, "When I earn my PhD".
In my childhood and young adult life, I had always been taught to aspire and consequently, began idealizing the future. Don't get me wrong, it's great to have dreams- they propel you forward and keep you motivated. But dreams are also dangerous, they can cause you to forget about the spectacular now; Dreams are created by the seemingly insignificant moments in our lives that culminate into something much larger.
With that said, one of my dreams is to become a clinical psychologist. That's my foundational dream. I believed that once I achieved this, I could begin working on my other dreams- becoming an author, speaker, talk show host and even a wife and mother. A degree would allow me the credentials and knowledge to be successful and starting my other dreams before this just felt physically impossible and temporally irrational.
That's where I was wrong.
Graduating from college will test you in more ways than you think possible. I guess that goes for most life transitions. I watched my peers go off to large companies like Microsoft and Google. Some went on to pursue advanced degrees in fancy new cities while others traveled as part of the Peace Corps. I was admittedly, envious. While I was thankful for a job, anyone who knows me knows I was incredibly reluctant to stay in North Carolina for another second. I felt there was nothing left for me here; my whole life had been spent in a 50-mile radius and I longed for something more. A loft apartment with a view of the city lights and a walkable Dunkin' Donuts were sure proof paths to my success. After reading what seemed like thousands of Facebook announcements from soon-to-be graduates declaring where they were relocating, I shamefully wrote my own. My first draft read: "After 4 years working hard to leave, I will make the exhilarating move 20 miles down the road".
With new jobs, came new confidence. My peers were starting businesses, podcasts, and blogs left and right. I felt inadequate and bummed out. I was angry with God for not only refusing to let me get into graduate school but also killing my dreams of moving to a big city where I could finally "start my life". It was a downward spiral, without the degree and the city, I would never be able to publish or garner a following.
Sometimes God prohibts our dreams from actualization to encourage us to dream BIGGER
But God had a different idea. Most of my greatest revelations in life have come during times of transition. He's revealed a lot of things to me in these past 6 months. The two biggest being:
Bloom where planted
Embrace Uncertainty
This summer, I felt compelled to make the most out of my gap year by becoming involved in my community. A series of very fortunate events lead me to become the Community Education Event Specialist for the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)- Wake County. At my first event, I spoke to over 50 people on research that was important to me. I was baffled- it was something I had never thought possible for someone without a higher-ed degree and now I was in charge of not only developing the content but implementing it as well. Since then, I have been invited to speak for other NAMI chapters and am on the lineup for the NAMI NC 2020 Annual Conference as a presenter. My life has definitely "started." I am doing all the things and more that I thought would only be possible with "PhD" at the end of my name. So onwards I go, barreling towards my dreams with full force and using God's unconditional love as my guide. Some dreams will be dropped or modified, some will be created- and I'm okay with that.
The PhD will teach me a lot I'm sure, but for now, I am content flourishing as Brianna.
This blog is a result of God's relentless encouragement. I have things to say, stories to tell, advice to give, and ideas to share despite a lack of degrees. I trust his plan and for now, he has me blossoming in Raleigh, North Carolina. I want to share my journey with you all as I navigate my 20s and co-create my life by way of intention, trust, passion, and love. My hope is to encourage others through this blog to follow their passions and let their hearts guide them in the right direction. From my gap year and the application process to my volunteerism and travels, I hope this blog inspires you to dream bigger & bloom now.
